Just in case anyone is checking...

Steven's dad is having bypass surgery today...

*Update: Instead of the double or triple the doctor had thought he would do, it ended up being a quadruple bypass. He's doing fine so far...

Show & Tell Thursday

Blackbird (well, Kim, really) wanted to see our favorite chocolate bar. This isn't really a "bar"...it's a "square"...but, it is my very favorite chocolate. And the perfect amount, really.

So. How do I...

Decorate/attatch things to this velcro and plastic boot? What kind of paint will stick to plastic the best? And velcro?

I'm afraid if I sew through the velcro, it will ruin it a little bit and it won't work as well.

What about glue? What kind do you think would be best...for either?

Well...

It's a stress fracture. Now I get to wear this lovely, big, black, velcro boot thingy. The kids are fascinated by it! I'm thinking I gotta figure out a way to paint this or something to at least make it interesting!

Guess what?

I finally went to see a doctor about my foot yesterday...it's been hurting since the beginning of February for no apparent reason, so I keep thinking it'll just go away. But it's getting worse and worse, and now it's swollen all the time.

The doctor said she thinks I have a Morton's Neuroma, and need to see a podiatrist. So I call this morning thinking it'll take 3 months to get an appointment, like it usually does for a specialist-at least in Houston. But, the doctor actually had an opening today at 3:45! So I took it.

I'll letcha know how that goes...

Conversations with Claire

Claire is the doctor and I am the patient...

Claire is giving me a full once over...checking reflexes, checking in my ears and nose ("It's pretty dark in there", she says.) Listening to my heart and lungs. Then she listens to my stomach...

Me: Do you hear anything, Doctor? Do you think I might throw up?

Dr. Claire: Well...let's just say, I hope you're a good swimmer!

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHERE in the WORLD does she come up with this stuff?!?

And just to keep things interesting...

My father-in-law had a heart attack yesterday, and they also discovered he has pneumonia. Some kind of surgery is planned for tomorrow.

Bored? Come live with me! lol!

Guess what?

This was my week to not have to leave the house, remember? Ethan didn't have any appointments at all, and I didn't have to be anywhere else. So, after spending all afternoon yesterday at the doctor's office, then going to have Ethan's abdomen x-rayed (diagnosis: total constipation), guess what I got to do today?

GET MY CAR FIXED!

Car wouldn't start this morning. Dead battery. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MY KARMA??? I'm a nice person, I let people get in front of me in line at the store when they have less to check out than I do; if there is a question of who goes next at the stop sign I let the other person go; I hold doors open for women with strollers and pretty much everybody else who is behind me; I seriously try to help people out whenever I can and I always try to do the right thing! OK-so I have some overdue library books and have accrued quite a fine, but is that really so bad??? lol!

All I ask is that I am able to take care of my responsibilities. But I have to be able to STAY AT HOME to get that done!

Sooooooo NOT my job description!

I swear, if it's not one thing it's another! Just when I think everything is calming down and I can work (like, ON MY SWAP STUFF that I am sooooooooo far behind on) this comes up!

Ethan was complaining about a tummy ache last Wednesday. He had just had popcorn, candy and a coke at the movies, and we were in my mom's car, which is very low to the ground and much different than mine, so I attributed it to car sickness. Even I was nauseous-which is normal for me, though. He mentioned it again on Thursday when we were driving home, so again I thought it was car sickness.

Yesterday he mentioned it, so Steven and I were thinking he might be constipated. Steven was pushing around on his abdomen and Ethan said it hurt. Steven went to the store for some 'unconstipating' things, but Ethan had totally passed out by the time he got back, so he didn't get anything.

Today, he went to the nurse's office twice at school, complaining of a tummy ache, so I had to pick him up. No signs of anything else going on, though.

So I started asking him just a bunch of questions and pressing on his tummy again. He said it still hurt, and yesterday, when he did go to the bathroom "red goopy stuff" came out. Great! Maybe you should have mentioned that yesterday!

Talked to Steven...he suggested that Ethan may need an enema. I told him, "That is NOT in my job description!"

So, now we have a doctor's appointment in an hour and a half, and I have to go take a shower and get dressed...which I haven't done yet today because I was sure that ALL I had to do was WORK ON MY SWAP STUFF!

And, speaking of Swap Stuff...We got ours from Gina this weekend! The greatest, cutest things!!! Thank you so much, Gina, Kyle, Allison & Emmie! I will take a picture and formally thank you in your own post as soon as I can...it definitely deserves it's own post!

Spring BREAK???

...is no longer a 'break'...it is now a 'whirlwind'. When did this happen? I'm betting it has something to do with the kids!

Today I am taking that long awaited soldering class from 1-6 pm. The only thing I have to bring is lunch money! Things are looking up!

After that...the rest of this weekend is ALL ABOUT ME laying in bed or on my red chaise! Hopefully watching 'Law & Order' on one channel or another, replenishing myself for all that I missed all week long!

Speaking of 'Law & Order', I am creating my own Wish List, like everybody else has with Google or Flicker or something but I can't figure out how to do it...my Wish List consists of that cool new Super Duper iPod that you can download episodes of 'Law & Order' on (along with other TV shows that I never knew existed) and watch it RIGHT ON YOUR PERSONAL, VERY OWN iPOD!!! Now THAT is technology that I MUST have! Who cares about the songs and the videos? They now have PORTABLE 'LAW & ORDER'!!! In Starbucks, in the car, at 5:00 am when it actually isn't on any station at all...oh yeah.

OK-moving on to:

Portable Restrooms and Conversations with Claire:

On the way back from Houston we had to stop and get some Dramamine for Ethan, because Daddy drives too slow and Ethan's tummy can't take it. (lol!) Then, of course, because Ethan had a tummy ache, so did Claire. So, we stopped at a Wal-Mart. Then had everyone go to the potty before we left. So I'm in with Claire...and the toilet has one of those automatic flushers. Claire is still sitting there when it goes off...she turned around to look at the thing on the wall and practically growls, "I'm not finished yet!" lol! Then I see her nose start sniffing around, and she says, well, yells and echoes really, "Did somebody bring some stinky, rotten food in here or something?!?" Well, yeah, kinda. Her creative analogies kill me! rofl!

Seriously...what happens in there?

I just bought a new package of socks. I put them in the washing machine last night. Three pair went in...only TWO pair came out! Where the hell did they go???

Cuddle Time Chimp/Conversations with Claire

Has anybody seen these? It's this monkey made by the Fur Real Friends people, and it makes chimp noises and hugs you and stuff...Claire has been talking about it for a while. I had never seen it, though.

So a commercial for it just comes on and she yells, "Mommy! There it is! Look!"

I watch the commercial, and I have to admit, it's kinda cute. When the commercial is over, Claire turns to me and says, "So, you TOTALLY want me to get one, right???" rofl!!! Is she a manipulator or what? She doesn't just come out and say "I want one of those", she turns it into something that I want for her!

When she was a baby...long before she could talk...if I was somewhere and picked up some outfit or some little toy I was considering buying her, I think she actually knew whether or not it was for her, and whether or not she liked/wanted it. And if she liked it, she would throw up on it! And I had to buy it then! lol!

Bloging will resume...

...eventually. I promise. I seriously have to work this week! Gina-If you are reading this, I promise I am trying so hard! lol! (How did you do it? lol!)

Spent ALL MONDAY AFTERNOON at the pediatric dentist's office. Seriously. Got there at 2:00, and we were the last people out of there at 5:20! The dentist is very nice, but damn she is slow! And now, one of Allison's fillings has already fallen out! Great. That means I get to spend another afternoon at the dentist's office.

Of course yesterday was spent making food for the teacher's luncheon, Ethan's doctor's appointment, convincing Claire that she IS NOT getting a hamster, and I FINALLY got a haircut! Now, if I can just work in the time to color it.

OK-I'm going to get a cup of coffee now and go to work! Please drop in or email and let me know what's going on in the real world!

It has a profile, people!

It started out like any other regular big, ol' pimple. Right smack in the freakin' middle of my forehead. Then I could tell it was turning into something a little more like Mt. Saint Helen's.

That was last night.

This morning...Mt. Vesuvius! It's so big, it actually gets in my way, and I keep hitting it every time my hand goes past my face. It's like when you are pregnant and keep hitting your tummy on countertops, doorways, and furniture or anything else that happens to be at that height. But there is no big whitehead or anything on it...it's just one of those under the skin kind that hurt so bad.

So I'm standing in the kitchen with Steven and I turned sideways and asked him if "it" had a profile. Steven tries so hard to have the right response, but I could tell he was shocked right away...*sucking in deep breath*..."Umm, n-n0. Well, not really." Me: "You're lying."

So I turned back around to face him and he goes, "Oh yeah, I can see it now."

Me: "Really! Straight on you can see it?!"

Steven: "Well, not really. Only because I know it's there. It's just a little red."

Me: "Hell yeah it's red! It keeps bumping into everything!"

Conversations with Claire

*out of the clear blue sky...

Claire: Mom, I'm not going to have a collection of skunks.

Me: That's good.




*at least I don't have to worry about skunks going through the washer and dryer, like most of their collections! lol!

As for the plans for today...meeting some friends for breakfast at this mexican food place. Mmmm...mexican breakfasts!

Then, back to work on "THE Swap"...I am loving doing this stuff and I am so NOT complaining, but, it is so hard to get this stuff done with 3 kids running around wanting something or fighting every five minutes. Doesn't help that Al and Ethan have early release all week! ugh!

Better go hop in the shower so I don't scare everybody at Chacho's!

How do they know???

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.You're totally weird and very proud of it.Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatamericancityareyouquiz/">What American City Are You?

Seriously! How do they know? Every single time I do one of these, they are spot on. I want to know who does the research for this, and how!

I can't believe I forgot to show you my new shoes!

Well, maybe they aren't so new anymore-I've had them for a couple of months. But I love them! And here they are in their favorite setting...

Conversations with Claire

Background: I had a few different types of fringe stuff I was playing with and trying to figure out which one to frame my collage with. Once I picked the one I wanted, there were 2 left over.

Claire: Mommy, are you using this one?

Me: No.

Claire: So I can have it?!?!?!

Me: Nnooo. I mean I'm not using it right now, but I will in the future.

Claire: (in her deadly serious, looking up at you like you are an idiot face) Mom. There is no future.



*Make sure you link over to ArtSmith for a picture of the collage and photograph I entered in the art thing. They aren't up right now as I'm typing this (11:00 am) but I'll get them up in a little bit.

I stole this from Hayley...

But I just HAD too...it's way too good! Besides, she probably stole it from Kim! rofl!;)


EXPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN TO USE ON HIGH STRESS DAYS

1. You - Off my planet.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
7. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
9. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
10. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
11. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
12. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
13. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?14. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
15. Can I trade this job for what's behind door ..2?
16. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
17. Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.
18. Earth is full. Go home.
19. Is it time for your medication or mine?
20. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
21. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.

By all means share with other women in stressful positions. A daywithout a laugh is a wasted day!


THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!!

Little Golden Books that Never Made It:

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Any other week...

Allison went back to school yesterday, for the first time since last Thursday. She came home from school running a 102 degree fever. Ugh! This morning however...nothing. WTH? Either be sick or get well! lol! I'm really trying to finish getting stuff ready to bring to the museum tomorrow to see if I'm good enough to get into an exhibition, so I'm really running out of time. I told Allison if she can just hang on until tomorrow afternoon, THEN I can take her to the doctor. Her lungs are fine, though. I think it's just a sinus infection-which, will probably need some antibiotics to clear up. Of course, she's allergic to all the normal stuff, and we are down to the sulfa drugs, which taste AWFUL, but she won't swallow a pill...but for right now Motrin and Tylenol are keeping her comfortable.

Other than that...I'm just beating my head against the wall. And I need canvases.