Is it when they've been crying since last Thursday? When they want to release all the pressure by blowing their fucking brains out? Or is it when they start thinking that Andrea Yates had a good idea???
But if you can still rationalize that these are all bad ideas, does that mean you are still ok? Or are you bad because you thought them anyway?
I really believe that Ethan is mine for a reason, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why! I'm so wrong for him. So bad! No one who was good for him would think these things. He has so much he is going to have to fight through, and on top of it all he has me making it worse! If he ends up killing himself one day, the blame is squarely on me. Sometimes, I think he would be better off without me, then I think no one else will ever love him as much as I do, and no one else will ever fight for him like I do, and will. All I want is for him to be happy and healthy, but I'm not doing a very good job in helping him achieve those goals.