Thinking about things...

I've been sewing a lot over the last few days...that kind of mindless, straight line sewing that gets you to thinking about things. Lots of deep life questioning things. Things like: why am I am who I am; how did I get to be this way; why do I have certain children; what do I want to do from here on out and be known for when I'm 55 years old-because I am 40 and REALLY close to 41...which really translates into "What do I want to do with my life?". And then of course, the truly thought provoking question...why am I not a 'Commercial Lady' like I wanted to be when I was a kid?

And that may sound like a really funny question, and taken at face value it is. So I've been thinking about what being a 'commercial lady' really meant to me. I've decided that what being a Commercial Lady really meant to me was that I would get to stand or sit there and talk...a lot...about anything. What I liked, what I didn't like, or whatever someone else needed me to talk about, but couldn't bring themselves to do it. Of course, I would have been more of a 'Solo Infomercial Lady'. So obviously the perfect job for me!!! I never did believe that test I took in high school that said I should be a Mechanic! (An if you're wondering yes, that is absolutely true and yes, I can hear you laughing all the way over here!) But, I think I finally got to the root of that this week...sometimes it takes a 40 year old woman to get into a 6 year old's head.

When I was old enough to realize that "Commercial Lady" wasn't something you went to college and got a degree in, I moved on to becoming a teacher. Which, if you think about it, has a lot of the same things going for it that Commercial Lady does...you get to stand up in front of a classroom spouting views and ideas and theories and opinions. However, I realized within the first semester or two of college that my type of teaching wasn't going to work in Public Schools, and it was quite possible that Security Guards would be throwing me off school property within hours of the first day for many violations!

1) I have never had a problem giving my opinion. Never. Not in any situation, public or private. I respect the opinions of others (as long as they have actually gone through a reasonable thought process and some research to get there). Their opinion does not have to be my opinion...different opinions are what makes the world go round. (I absolutely must say here, though, that some opinions are just downright stupid and ignorant!) Anyway-back to the point of me giving my opinions...if I was a teacher and a student asked me what I thought about something, I would tell them what I thought and believed. And most likely, that is not what the Public School System is going to want me to do.

2) I don't know why I said, "it was quite possible that Security Guards would be throwing me off school property within hours of the first day for many violations!"
Because the one above is really the only one I can think of. Let's just say I am more suited to teaching at the University level, and since I had better, more fun things to do than sitting around studying for a PhD, that is out of the question.

I have spent a lot of time acting on behalf of abused women and children and trying to educate the public about domestic violence. Even made it on the news in Houston for spouting through a microphone in front of City Hall. But I am wanting to do more. I want to help educate the world about things like Bipolar Disorder especially in children; what REAL ADHD is; Depression-that sometimes you just can't pull yourself up by the bootstraps, buck up and get happy; Schizophrenia-which is not Multiple Personalities!; Learning Disorders like Dyslexia and/or the fact that not all children progress and learn to read at the same exact time at the exact time the teacher tells them too! BRAINS ARE DIFFERENT! And that doesn't mean "wrong" or "bad". My two oldest children had difficulty learning to read...Allison didn't really learn to read until 3rd grade but, when it did click, she took off! Ethan is still struggling very hard and just may be Dyslexic. And Claire-who will be entering Kindergarten in two months-still shows no signs of wanting to learn her ABCs. If you ask her how to spell her name, she can tell you and she can write it out, but, if you ask her to write a 'C', she doesn't know how. If you hold up any other letter in the alphabet and ask her what it is, she has no clue. And just exactly like the other two, the harder you push to try and sneak in some learning, the more they turn off and the faster they walk away. But you know what...Ethan is a Straight A student. Allison would be if she weren't quite so social, if you know what I mean. lol! She has been before, and will be again, but, sometimes she just socializes a lot instead of doing homework. "Normal" kids develop at different rates, and it's all good as long as they are steadily developing on their scale.

Autism-that's another one that hits close to home, and people really need to learn more about that! You can check this link to the National Autism Association, also. You might wanna check out Pete, who has A Perfectly Cromulent Blog. I use him. You know...to keep up with House Bills and all that. The whole Government, making laws and stuff, adding important issues, such as Health Insurance and Early Intervention for Austim onto other bills that have nothing to do with that...this one may be tacked on to something about how to dispose of grass clippings for all I know...ANYWAY, it's all very confusing, but, I can just go to Pete and find out what's going on with what I'm interested in. Thanks, Pete!

Health Insurance-Especially for Kids! What the fuck is wrong with our Country? A Country who will let a family lose everything they have, even their HOME, even the WHEELCHAIR that their daughter desperately needs (Yep! Someone actually walked into their door and made them GIVE BACK their little girl's wheelchair!), because the medical bills have gotten so high that they cannot afford to pay the leftover 20% of the bill that their insurance didn't cover! Try wrapping your brain around that one! What if this was your child? Would that have happened if that was the daughter of the wheelchair company's owner?

Have you ever really looked around and realized how our world treats women and children? I know we live in a male dominated, Patriarchial Society and all, and sometimes I think we, in the US, have things bad and not fair. Then I start looking around and the women in the Middle East and the baby girls in China. And then I cry. A baby girl will get me every time!

I've tried to make a change...in my Social Work/Life Before Kids, and I've even worked a little on Ted Poe's campaign for Representative of the area I lived in. He's a great man...check him out. Because of my son's Special Needs, I have fought long and hard, AND WON, to get him what he needs at school...IEPs, ARDs, Wright's Law, a great resource for Special Education Law & Advocacym etc...a lot of research, learning and commitment. And I'm willing to (and have) help anyone else get what their child needs also. Right now I'm making a bunch of little security blanket type things for some of the orphans in China. Cindy at Skip to my Lou posted about her neice, who is working with a group called Hope's Heart . They are going to China soon to volunteer and bring over some things for the babies. I know that this is a very teeny, tiny contribution but, I'm hoping it will help a few children have something to hold that is their's and belongs only to them. I've also donated many other things I have made to several other charities to be auctioned off to help raise a little drop in the bucket. OH! And PFLAG...something else I've always wanted to do something for but don't know where to start-other than to stand up on roof or walk around downtown with a bullhorn shouting, "What difference does it make who you love?" I have marched in a Gay Right's Parade, though.

But where do I start? What problem to I fight to solve? Do I do a little bit for everything, or put all my eggs in one basket? All I know is, I need to get back to doing something. I know I don't get a whole lot of traffic here, but, if any of you have a link to a group you want to help with or a cause to fight for, let me know and I'll add it into this post. And even if you don't have a group or cause you want to help with, I hope I've made you think a little. I'm not even trying to actually sway or change opinions here, but if I did make you think, you made my day!

Of course, I can't let this blog publish until I say a little something about OUR SPURS! We said, "GO!" and you "WENT!" and I am very proud to have such a wonderful, polite, well-mannered group of people represent our city! To all the Mom's who raised their boys to be these men, to all of their teachers in school along the way, to all of the Spurs Administration, to Pop...thank you all for raising and helping and teaching and coaching them all to be who they are today. A team I am proud of and a team who emulate the the social graces I want my children to learn. I couldn't be happier! Congratulations on #4!