Already? There is usually a honeymoon period of 2-4 weeks before the phone starts ringing...
Background: Ethan has developed a new 'tic'. Coughing. It's a very dry cough, every 2-5 seconds. I, his mother, know that that is exactly what it is, because his old one went away and this started; but I also know that it will be an issue with the school so, I took him to the pediatrician last week and had him all checked out just to make sure. Health is great. She agrees, also, that a tic is what it is.
From here on out, imagined responses are in *...*; real responses will be in quotes "...".
So yesterday, the nurse calls. "Well, Mrs. P., Ethan has been in my office. Do you know he is coughing?"
*Ethan, Ethan...which one is he now? Oh! the little red head with all of the psychological disorders! OK-now I know. You mean to tell me he's been coughing constantly with every breath for the last two weeks? Why, no...nope, haven't noticed a thing.*
"Yes, I know he is coughing. It's a new tic. Remember last year when he was rubbing his chin and the side of his face on his shirt sleeve every 2-3 seconds, and would rub it so raw it was actually bleeding and ruining every shirt he owned? Well, he's not doing that anymore. Now he is coughing. However, I knew this would be an issue with you, so I took him to the pediatrician last week and had him all checked out and he fine, lungs are clear, and she agrees that it is a tic also."
"Well, Mrs. P, does he need medication for this?"
*HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE FORMS I HAVE FILLED OUT IN TRIPLICATE ABOUT THE MEDS HE IS ON FOR HIS DISORDERS???*
"He is on many medications for several disorders, including this one."
"Well, I'm just wondering if he is sick."
"No. He is not sick. Like I said, he was completely checked out by the pediatrician last week. He is perfectly healthy, and frankly, I'm getting tired of all the comments from all the little old ladies about his health and me being a bad mother for not taking care of him."
"Oh yes, I remember what that's like...tee-hee-hee!"
---just an aside---you should see the looks on people's faces and how they RUN when they make comments in Target and/or Wal-Mart when they ask if he is sick or if he is ok and I say, "Ya know...he coughs like he has TB or something. Maybe I should get him check out...I dunno." ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! PURE ENTERTAINMENT, I tell you!!!
Anyway, back to the nurse..."Well, Mrs. P., the school psychologist is standing right here...do you need to speak with her about things you can do for Ethan?"
"Well, not really. He has an appointment with the psychologist he sees every single week tomorrow, but uh, if she needs to speak with me, yeah, that's ok."
"OK-here she is..."
"Hello, Mrs. P, this is (whateverhernameis) the SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST, and I understand Ethan has been coughing. Is he sick?"
*Oh Jesus Christ-here we go again!!!*
"NO, he is not sick...blahblahblah...I knew it would be an issue with the school...blahblahblah...pediatrician, psychologist, psychiatrist, every single week! Blah, blah, BLAH!"
"Well, is he on any medications?"
*AGAIN-HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIS RECORDS AT ALL? YOU SUGGESTED THE IEP IN THE FIRST PLACE AND DID ALL THE TESTING YOURSELF, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS ALREADY BEEN DIAGNOSED BY THE FREAKIN' HEAD OF THE CHILDREN'S PSYCHIATRY DEPARTMENT AT THE FREAKIN' UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS MEDICAL SCHOOL!!!*
"Yes, he is on several. Which ones are you interested in?"
"Well, for the cough."
"He is on Lexapro for the OCD, which causes the cough. But, the pediatrician is having us try an allergy med just in case it is allergies, but it has had no impact whatsoever, and he's never been allergic to anything before in his life."
"OH! Okay, then. Well.....uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh....just wanted to make sure...blah."
"Thank you. Blah."
Moving on...his new teacher also called, but for a good thing! She just wanted to let me know that his first two days of school have been wonderful! And he's doing great!
I thanked her very much for the nice call, and that I would certainly let Ethan know that she called to tell me that, because, we never get good calls, we only get the bad ones.
She seems like a wonderful teacher...although I think I am old enough to be her mother! lol! They all look like babies! But that's good...still young and idealistic! lol!
Moving on to some munkeepod business...Claire is my "assistant". So she has set up a little wooden TV tray thing in my office with a notebook to sign people in with (people who are coming to work, or just coming to "look at the gallery" (rofl!), an orange crayon-her favorite color, a hairbrush, 2 little books 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' and one about birds, and she even keeps a blanket and pillow in case she needs to take a nap (yeah, right!). It is so cute! Guess I need to take a picture! Anyway...she keeps asking me who she can fire! roflmao! And I swear she is the girl version of Donald Trump...she walks around firing her stuffed animals, "You're fired!" She's not at all interested in interviewing or hiring anyone...she just wants to fire them! Then she wants to know when she gets paid. roflmaoooooooooooooooo!!! I swear she CRACKS ME UP!!! I told her I'm not even getting paid yet. She was like, "Oh.", then just walked away, knowing she wasn't getting paid anytime soon. Hasn't deterred her one bit from firing anyone, though!
As much as she talks and talks and talks and drives me crazy, I'm gonna miss her next year when she goes to Kindergarten!