Thursday, October 26, 2006

This Motherhood Gig...

Just doesn't pay enough! I don't even get good benefits! I have decided that the one thing we (mothers) REALLY NEED is Worker's Comp. insurance!

Seriously...not to even mention the wrinkles and gray hair and insanity the children have given me, this week alone I've gotten a broken foot and a nice little slash in the top of my hand with the rotary cutter, because I had to look at Claire instead of what I was doing. One of these days, I'm gonna lose a finger I tell ya! Plus, what if all these make-overs with so much lipstick I'm sure it's going to stain my face permanently, or, what if she actually cuts my hair with real live scissors instead of the pretend ones she is supposed to be using? Who is going to pay for these things?

And really...worst of all...are the "salads" Claire comes up with that resemble that new Barf Bowl that Kentucky Fried Chichen just came out with. You know, the "Stoner Bowl", the "I'm so fucking stoned with major munchies I'll eat anything, even if just looking at it makes me throw up Bowl"? Her "salads" really do resemble those things. She claims they are really good though. But, as a woman who doesn't like her food to touch, I'm pretty sure it would kill me. So you're talking all the funeral costs, there.

This is me, about to get beaten over the head with Cascarrones at Easter. A concussion waiting to happen.

I say we make our own union, "Mothers for Compensation", and start our own movement.
"Fight, Unite, for Motherhood Rights" could happen...

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