Thursday, February 23, 2006

I stole this from Hayley...

But I just HAD too...it's way too good! Besides, she probably stole it from Kim! rofl!;)


EXPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN TO USE ON HIGH STRESS DAYS

1. You - Off my planet.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
7. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
9. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
10. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
11. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
12. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
13. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?14. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
15. Can I trade this job for what's behind door ..2?
16. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
17. Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.
18. Earth is full. Go home.
19. Is it time for your medication or mine?
20. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
21. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.

By all means share with other women in stressful positions. A daywithout a laugh is a wasted day!


THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!!

Little Golden Books that Never Made It:

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

5 comments:

vicci said...

I will be using MANY of these!!! Too good!

Odd Mix said...

Very funny. I am sending the first set to my wife. She can use them on some of our more interesting boarders at the stable.

Hayley said...

i DID steal them from kim! happy to share! they're HYSTERICAL!
~hayley

ntuart said...

hi there! i followed the link you left on my blog over to here! it is nice to know another mom out there who can relate to life with son's like ours! yikes!

and omg! these are hilarious....i think i am gonna have to borrow them! i have been having one of those days for about 2 weeks and this was just the cure i needed!
what a riot these are!

kimzbuzz said...

YeS....she did...and you did too!!! these are great aren't they!!! i think about these often and just crack up!! I hope you are doing great!! it has been a few stressful weeks for me. but i think i am out of the dark now. catch up real soon...k??? take care!